SiM Global Perspectives: Canada

Country: Canada

Background: Canada was founded by a loose assortment of drunken, though exuberant, loggers, fur trappers, and beaver farmers who had been exiled from France for having funny, "gooselike" (Quebecois) accents. These original denizens were supplanted--SiM has recently learned that there was some sort of war which transferred Canada from French to British hands, but we have the good sense not to care--however, by a group of half-deaf, though excessively polite and self-effacing British ploughmen who were in turn exiled for the irritating habit of saying "eh?" after every question. Eventually, Canada also gained an influx of British loyalists ("Tories," or more precisely, "Pussies") from the lower colonies fleeing the newly-formed United States of George Washington (changed to "United States of America" in 1797) after the Revolutionary War. Not ones for making a fuss about such controversial topics as the creation of autonomous governmental and legislative systems, Canada did eventually gain independence at some relatively significant date (1995?), although they kept the Queen for some reason.

Location: Somewhere, vaguely, above the United States. Is Toronto in Canada?

Area: Roughly 100 square kilometers.

Area Comparable: Guatemala

Climate: Cold (average temperature: -40 degrees F)

Terrain: Plains (?), Mountains (?), Coastline (?)

Natural Hazards: Giant, carnivorous Maple Leaves; Hockey

Government Type: constitutional inferiority complexocracy

Capital: Toronto

Administrative Divisions: Toronto, That French Part

Constitution: They have their own Constitution? How quaint.

Chief Exports: Beaver Pelts, Resentment

Head of State: Queen Elizabeth II

Head of Government: That Guy, Michael J. Fox (?)

Military: Stephen